How Now Devil Cow

I think I’ve died and gone to Hell. Literally. I glance around the solemn, sparsely lit room filled with hollow-eyed people. A pretty receptionist with a red, spiky tail dancing between her legs ushers a continuous flow of supposed corpses into spare seats as they arrive.

My attention wavers to the ceiling, which is a mass of rolling, black clouds littered with sporadic forks of lightning. Yeah, this is definitely Hell. I guess it could be worse. I could have died on Halloween wearing a cow costume that miraculously survived my journey to the afterlife ... Oh, wait.

“Next!” The receptionist dashes to her desk and presses a large, red button. A live video of a cow playing hoovesies with her udder fills the calling screen on the wall. Whoopsies. Clearing my throat, I drop the latex teat and dust off my artificially bloated belly with a hoof. I stand, readjust my wonky cow head, and waddle towards the imposing obsidian door. This should be interesting.