The Big Score

Saloninus is a man with two distinct professions. In idle moments, he dashes off immortal masterpieces—philosophical treatises, musical compositions, dramas of Shakespearean range and depth—that never manage to turn a profit. His primary profession—that of thief, grifter and itinerant con man—is equally unprofitable, and he spends his life in constant flight from the encroaching forces of the law.

The story opens in the aftermath of Saloninus's own funeral, an act of self-concealment he has staged many times before. Newly risen from the dead, he encounters an old flame—a sort of archetypal femme fatale—with whom he shares a colorful—and highly illegal—history. She has a plan in mind, one that involves both of Saloninus's skill sets: criminality and literary genius. If successful, that plan will lead to the elusive "big score" that will set them free forever.

Against his better judgment, and fully aware that failure and betrayal may await him, Saloninus agrees to participate. The result is this ingenious—and very funny—tale.